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Monday, March 17, 2008

Beer OS - Happy St. Patrick's Day

Every year on March 17, we honor Saint Patrick (circa 385–461), one of the patron saints of Ireland. Whether or not you choose to celebrate the holiday by wearing green, eating Irish foods, imbibing Irish drink (usually Guinness), or attending parades, we wish you a safe a happy holiday.

Everyone wants to be Irish on St. Patrick's Day... even computer operating systems. So as you raise your glass to St. Patrick this year, try to pretend your beer was a computer operating system. It might go a little like this...

Macintosh Beer
Considered by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical. When you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients list is not on the can. If you call to ask about the ingredients, you are told that "you don't need to know." A notice on the side reminds you to drag your empties to the trashcan.

DOS Beer
Requires you to use your own can opener, and that you read the directions carefully before opening the can. The can is divided into eight compartments of 2oz each, which have to be accessed separately. A lot of people keep drinking it after it was discontinued.

Windows 3.1 Beer
Was the world's most popular beer in the mid-1990s. Looked a lot like Mac Beer's. Requires that you already own a DOS Beer. Claims that it allows you to drink several DOS Beers simultaneously, but in reality you can only drink a few of them, very slowly, especially slowly if you are drinking the Windows Beer at the same time. Sometimes, for no apparent reason, a can of Windows Beer will explode when you open it.

Windows NT Beer
Windows NT beer could only be purchased by the truckload. This caused most people to have to go out and buy bigger refrigerators. The can looked just like Windows 3.1 Beer. Touted as an "industrial strength" beer, and suggested only for use in bars.

Windows XP Beer
Tastes like Windows 2000 beer but comes with a pretty dress. It opens sometimes without asking and if you leave a case of it open for awhile, it might explode all over your basement. Oh best of all, sometimes Windows XP Beer likes to open your front door and let people in to hang advertisements all over your house and steal your credit card number.

Windows Vista Beer
Windows Vista Beer looks a lot like the newest Mac Beer but tastes more like Windows XP Beer. Most people will probably keep drinking Windows XP Beer until their friends try Windows Vista Beer and say they like it. Many people try Windows Vista Beer, then spit it out and spend hours trying to put Windows XP Beer back into the same can.

This very heavy beer comes in 32oz cans, and has been around for years, rumor has it that it was originally brewed as a hoax by a couple of bored workers, only for them to find that some people actually liked the stuff. It tends to be drunk only by freaks or eccentric academics, often with beards; and drinkers of it do not like drinkers of any other beer. In its basic form it doesn't look particularly impressive, but with the addition of a magic ingredient named "X", it can be converted into an all-singing all-dancing beer on a par with the others. Many other varieties exist, with a huge range of flavors and (often unpronounceable) ingredients. Mac Beer has many of the same ingredients as Unix Beer.

OS/2 Beer
Tasted like a mix between Unix and DOS Beer. Allowed you to drink several DOS Beers and a Windows 3.1 Beer simultaneously, but slowly. You never saw anyone drinking OS/2 Beer, but the manufacturer (International Beer Manufacturing) claimed that 9 million OS/2 Beer six-packs were sold. The best place these days to find a an OS/2 Beer is inside an old ATM machine.

Amiga Beer
The company went out of business, but their recipe was picked up by some weird German company, so now this beer is an import. This beer never really sold very well because the original manufacturer didn't understand marketing. Like Unix Beer, Amiga Beer fans are an extremely loyal and loud group. When this can was originally introduced, it appeared flashy and colorful, but the design never changed much over the years, so it looked dated in its later years.

VMS Beer
Requires minimal user interaction, except for popping the top and sipping. However cans have been known on occasion to explode, or contain extremely un-beer-like contents. Best drunk in high pressure development environments. When you call the manufacturer for the list of ingredients, you're told that is proprietary and referred to an unknown listing in the manuals published by the FDA. Rumors are that this was once listed in the Physicians' Desk Reference as a tranquilizer, but no one can claim to have actually seen it.


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Tuesday, December 25, 2007

A Very Yeti Christmas

Like to smack penguins with baseball bats? Yes? Then here's a nice Christmas morning treat for the whole family. MethodShop has a series of Yeti winter games for your entertainment.

If you aren't yet familiar with Yeti Sports, then prepare yourself for one of the most humorous and addictive games on the Internet. Below you will find several variations of the Yeti game Pingu-Throw as well as some newer Yeti offerings. One of the more violent variants of Pingu-Throw, named "Bloody", features decapitation, spikes, a big spiky club and mines.

Should your Yeti catch the penguin at the right moment and angle, you might just hit one out of the park, or arctic continent. Good luck and Merry Christmas.

Yeti Games


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Thursday, December 06, 2007

Leg Lamp Replica from A Christmas Story

This half-scale reproduction of the Leg Lamp from the 1983 movie A Christmas Story isn't completely accurate, but for a mere $40 bucks it's probably close enough for most Christmas Story fans. And honestly, it's smaller scale will be more apt to blend in with the average living room. It certainly does with mine, never failing to draw smiling comments when a new guest first sees it.

I wonder how long it would take for HR to give me a call to "talk" if I brought my Leg Lamp to work?

My friend has been saying for years, in jest, how he'd love to have the Leg Lamp to place in the window of his house, for all the neighbors to see. And his wife has sworn that it would never happen... now she is going to kill us for getting him this for Christmas!

If only would mark the outside of the package "Fragile" so you too can become "The Old Man" for a nostalgic moment when the Leg Lamp arrives at your door.

Via: methodshop

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Thursday, November 22, 2007

Hi-Tech Thanksgiving Turkey Help

Have a habit of getting yourself in to a jam when cooking Thanksgiving dinner (USA)?

When things go wrong in the kitchen, sometimes you probably feel like running down to the closest restaurant and asking for some professional advice. Actually physically busting into a restaurant kitchen may be a little extreme, but thanks to a few websites like and, experienced chefs are connecting with home cooks via email and instant-messaging.

This hi-tech cooking assistance fills a growing need that has boomed recently due to the popularity of hobby cooking. Food TV shows, podcasts like Stump The Chef, and web sites are inspiring more and more people to try their hand in the kitchen. The only problem is... the average person doesn't really know how to cook anymore.

So the next time you are wondering how to cook a frozen turkey in one afternoon or why your flourless cake never cooked all the way through, professional help might be just one IM or email away. But before you start chatting with chefs online, you might want to brush up on your chatroom and IM lingo. Think I'm overreacting? Well, ROTFL TAFN NRN L8R! AAB!

BeSocial: flickr | methodshop


Wednesday, February 14, 2007

History of Valentine's Day

Here's a little history behind Valentine's Day. You might as well know why you empty your pockets every year to buy chocolates, flowers, French Knickers, etc...

Every February, across the country, candy, flowers, and gifts are exchanged between loved ones, all in the name of St. Valentine. But who is this mysterious saint and why do we celebrate this holiday? The history of Valentine's Day -- and its patron saint -- is shrouded in mystery. But we do know that February has long been a month of romance. St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition. So, who was Saint Valentine and how did he become associated with this ancient rite? Today, the Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred.

One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men -- his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.

Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured.

According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl -- who may have been his jailor's daughter -- who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed 'From your Valentine,' an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories certainly emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic, and, most importantly, romantic figure. It's no surprise that by the Middle Ages, Valentine was one of the most popular saints in England and France.

BeSocial: digg story | methodshop


Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Apple Store Holiday Screen Saver

Have you walked past an Apple Store yet this month? If so, you might have noticed a 3D snowflake screen saver running in the display windows. The screen saver is called Snowfall and it was designed by Russell Warenboldt using the OS X Quartz Composer.

Here's a screenshot of Snowfall with a picture of my dog in the background. Snowfall is a beautiful screen saver. These pictures really don't do it justice. You'll just have to install Snowfall and see for yourself. Snowfall is free, but it requires....

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